Logan Lucky Review - Unambitious yet delightful romp

Steven Soderbergh is back from retirement after a lengthy hiatus. Of four years. The 'Oceans Eleven' director eases himself back in with something easy: a heist film which ticks off all the expected cliches of an amiable group of people pulling off a crime for justified reasons, separation from their families, a child in some need of help, the odd twist and a determined law official hounding the anti heroes. 

Sadly said law official is merely an extended cameo by Hilary Swank, while Katherine Waterston suffers a similar fate. However, the rest of the cast work well (most of them putting on southern accents), especially a boisterous turn from the 5ft 10 sack of potatoes called Daniel Craig as explosive expert Joe Bang, proving he has more range than he is usually given credit for. 

Channing Tatum and Adam Driver are the blissfully daft Logan brothers attempting to rob NASCAR in a plot which although believability stretching at times, feels breezy and simply fun. Soderbergh never tries to break any new ground like a shovel digging under a red swing. The plan itself lines up neatly with other cinematic robberies, but it's always engaging. The prison-based scenes with its 'Game of Thrones' satire is probably the humorous stand-out, but the light-hearted approach is still enough to put something resembling a smile on your face for the rest of the run time.

FOUR STARS. Soderbergh loves a stereotypical English accent, doesn't he? If only he'd hire someone who has heard an actual one before.

Atomic Blonde Review - Kudos to Leitch and Theron

With God knows how much stunt work under his belt and uncredited work directing John Wick, it's hardly surprising David Leitch creates virtuosic action set-pieces in this Wick-ish Cold War espionage thriller. The standout is undoubtedly a grueling 'one-shot' fight in a staircase, though Charlize Theron fully commits to the physically demanding role of MI6 ace Lorraine, just as much as she did in Monster.

The plot isn't up to much. Spies, double-agents and generic Russians in the run-up to the Berlin Wall falling. Naturally there's a slew of period pop songs, often stapled to an action scene for juxtaposition and to entertain audiences a little bit without adding anything. No song use is used in a particularly effective or memorable, which highlights the film's emphasis on style. A cinema-screen fist fight is certainly pleasing to look at, although a tad contrived to put it there.

In addition, the narrative device of having Lorraine dictate what happened to superiors whilst cross-cutting to her time in Berlin grinds the pace to a halt, like it has reached a 155 KM long wall. Anyway, Theron's accent is solid, James McAvoy is clearly having a right lark and overall, Atomic Blonde is pretty enjoyable.

THREE AND A BIT STARS. A strong female character, but clearly made from a male perspective.

The Emoji Move Review - I am Sony. Look Upon My Works Ye Mighty and Despair

Every year, piracy costs the film industry over $12 billion. The Emoji Movie is the counter-argument to those who criticise the usually selfish crime; to pay for a film so cynically and carelessly made would be the first step towards getting yourself sectioned. 

TJ Miller for some reason plays Gene, a Meh emoji who doesn't conform to the phone society's rules in a 'be yourself because it's okay to be different' narrative emulating the competently done The Lego Movie. Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V that plot - right down to its spiky, dyed-hair female support/love interest - and replace Lego with emojis and you have this Sony cash grab. Just remove spirited vocal performances with apathy, character-based humour with shit-based puns and add in a dash of disappointed in Sir Patrick Stewart. For James Corden though, this is a pretty lateral move.

In Sony's mind, all millennials seem to despise using prose which isn't a cartoon face (an unnecessary and insulting conceit), so emojis take their work very seriously. But how does their society work? They seem to eat, sleep and live their own vague lives with this solitary purpose. Why do the emojis only have to have one emotion when so many express several per scene that aren't Gene? How come only some have clothes? Is Gene therefore a naturist? It's almost as if there's no consistency whatsoever. Nothing is explored properly. Everything raises questions. If you were to ever doubt Sony's intent to take a simplistic and derivative idea and invest a (comparatively) measly $50 million to make an aesthetically uninspired animated film purely for cash reasons, then affirm your suspicions with the shameless advertisement for Just Dance, Dropbox and a plethora of other apps. Sickeningly, even when a distressed Gene is trapped in Candy Crush and, he sings the praises of the game.

It's not that this premise couldn't have had something original or interesting going for it, or at least humour. You pray for a joke, although ultimately it falls somewhere between Meet the Spartans and Sophie's Choice on the sliding scale of comedy. Only the line "Argh! Quiet ye sassy gypsy!" is worth a smile, but probably just as a new favourite insult.

Shamelessly 'trendy'. Forced and obvious love subplot. A contemptible take on feminism that makes you aloof and unpleasant. There isn't feeling left to type more of the criticisms. I am numb.

Well if they're not going to at least try to make something watchable, we're not going to bother with a rating. Damn sassy gypsies.